Oh Dear… Life

Ever just have one of those days where nothing goes as planned or seems to go right? Yeah, that seems to be the case for me today or for the last couple of months. Don’t get me wrong, we have had some good points this year, but there have been some really trying ones too. They say the first year of marriage is the hardest… Well, goodness has this been a hard one.
 
We have had major issues with the house here lately as I stated in my homeowner woes post, which seems to be never-ending and won’t find a resolution til sometime next year.  Top this off with Christmas coming up and the stress of making sure that goes well, it all leaves me with a sense of feeling rather Scrooge or Grinch-like. I am at the point and I know my husband is too where we just want to call this year good and be done with it already. Like fast forward, skip, and do not repeat! But there isn’t a fix it all button or a fast forward button in life. And to be quite honest, I would not want one.
Did you ever see the movie Click with Adam Sandler? If not, here is a tiny insight into the film, the main character, Michael Newman (Adam Sandler), is given a remote that controls everything, from the volume of certain things to timelines. It can fast forward, pause and even rewind the very fabric of time. However, he eventually learns this is not without some consequences.  His children grow up without him knowing it and he misses out on the best parts in life because he just wants to fast forward and skip the hard stuff.  All the fights and makeups that his wife and he have, he FF’s through those too, just because they were inconvenient for him. The things that actually make his relationships worth having, yeah, he skips through them because he wants to get to the promotions faster, the big house, nice car all of it. He wants it all as soon as possible.
Now, how does this apply to how I am currently feeling you may ask… Well, here is the thing. You do what you think is best for you and your family, wither it is a move or change in jobs, sometimes it is a HUGE leap and you jump with both feet forward and hope for the best.  But sometimes with these huge life changes, comes some hurdles that stand in your way. Now, you can either work through them and find a solution where you can jump those hurdles without an issue or you can stand there and feel defeated with them in your way. The choice is up to you and how you work through things in life. I am one of those people who will take a moment to vent and have a small fit and be over it. Ultimately I am a one day at a time, type of individual because I firmly believe we are all only meant to take things one day at a time, any more than that can be way too overwhelming. Focus on the here and now, although you can make plans for the future, do not live in it. Just as you cannot live in the past, you should strive to live in the present.
We often get so caught up in what stresses us out, that we become lost in it, we can forget what is really important not only to us but to those around us. When this happens it can be hard to escape that feeling, anxiety takes hold and the stress becomes overwhelming.  I often have to let myself know, I am not in this alone. I tell my husband that as well, he is not in this alone, that we are a team and together we can work through anything. Take a deep breath, give me a hug and a kiss, we will find a way through it.
So what do you do when you are stressed out and life has you shouting: “OH DEAR!!! F$%^ this!”  Well, here is what I do to help work through it and find out how to combat the situation.
  1. VENT, I promise you it is not the end of the world to do so. You can vent to your spouse, your friends, or anyone who will actually take a moment to listen. If you do not have anyone who will actively listen, write it down, blog it, it helps you process it.
  2. Cry if you have too, it releases those emotions that you are feeling.
  3. SCREAM, yes, you can scream, it helps release the frustration.
  4. After working through the steps above, take a deep breath, and breathe.
  5. Now, this step may take a couple of days to work up to… But make a plan. Figure out how to combat the issue at hand in a healthy manner, you know that does not involve violence or explosives, lol
  6. Refine that plan and put it into action
  7. Remember, one day at a time!!!

 

Repeat these as often as you need to, and even reformulate the plan several times, if at first, you do not succeed… Do it again!

I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. ~ Thomas A. Edison

Even though this year has had its trials and tribulations, it is not the hardest year we have ever faced together, though I would not like to repeat those past years, I take comfort in knowing that we are there for each other even through the darkest parts of life. I have his hand in mine, I have his heart with me always, and his love which is endless. Just as he has all of those from me too, and I would not change that for anything in this world.

Until next time,

U.M.

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