Relationships, don’t let the fantasy in your head ruin it.

There is more to life than finding that fairytale ending so many people dream about. And no, finding a relationship like this isn’t settling either, it is about finding a person that not only compliments you but completes you on a whole different level. Enjoy the small things and the small moments that you share and when you come to a big moment and big things in life, you can move through them together as one. It isn’t always about Romance, the honeymoon period in a relationship, or even about sex, it is about knowing that you love someone so completely and fully and having that love returned in the same way   

For instance, my husband who I love completely isn’t all that romantic, it happens ladies and gents, sometimes your partner just isn’t.  However, it does not mean that he doesn’t love me intensely because the reality is that he does.  He just shows me his love in other ways, and sometimes he tries to be romantic, with some hilarious fails attached. He attempts to do these things because he knows I appreciate any effort that he makes, no matter how big or small it may be.

When we were going out on our very first date he ran into a bit of an issue, he was coming from a small town called Cochran, in Georgia, to another small town called Kathleen to pick me up, from there we had planned to go out to dinner and a movie, but our plans didn’t exactly unfold as we had hoped. He was on his way to get me driving up highway 96, but he was late, so he was driving a bit faster than he was “supposed to” He was then pulled over by the highway patrol, you can imagine his dismay.  As he was pulled over he was hoping he would not get a ticket, the officer approached his truck and got to the window. Now, hits a bit of panic as he waits for the officer to speak. The officer takes a peek inside the truck and what does he see sitting on the bench seat beside my honey?  A bouquet of flowers. The officer smiled and said, ” Late for a hot date?”  My honey then smiled back and said ” Yes. sir. It’s our first date and I am already late.” The officer laughed and to my honey’s surprise let him on his way with just a warning. He made his way to my house at the time and told me the story of why he was late, he handed me the flowers and I put them in a vase.

We went off on our date to a little Mexican restaurant, which is now long since closed down, and then we went to go see what movie we would like to see, note, we did not fully plan it out, so when we reached the theatre we did not see anything that appealed to us, and we were on a time limit for the date considering my mother was watching my three children. So we decided to do something rather lame, we ended up going to Walmart and walking around for a bit… Not overly romantic but we still had fun just being with one another, in the moment and that was all that mattered. We finished up our date and made it back to my house, he kissed me good night and we said our goodbyes. Because at this time, babysitting was not on my mom’s list of to do things… ANYWAY…

There are a million and then some stories that I have from our relationship together, some that are funny and others that are tragic but through it, all one thing we keep in mind, is that we are better together, we work with one another through everything. We hold each other up and brace one another for anything that may come our way. We talk about anything and everything, from serious matters to the small rather obscure matters, that really has nothing to do with anything. And you know what? I wouldn’t change a single moment of our time together or change a single thing about our relationship.

The small moments in life matter the most to both of us    

I am including some tips for you if you need to rethink the way you appreciate your relationships:

1: Look for those small moments and be thankful. For example: When your loved one makes coffee for you just the way you like it and wakes you up with it ready in hand for you.

2: Take time to remember why you fell in love in the first place.

3: TALK to one another. This is one I cannot stress enough! Communication is key to any successful relationship. It does not always have to be verbal communication, it can be written if that helps you and your partner better. However, if it is written communication, do not take the words written at 100% face value, because with the text you can always have a chance of misinterpretations.  Read the words, reflect, think about what was said, read them again, and think of how to respond. [My husband and I often do this, because sometimes he is better at telling me what he needs and wants in an email. And yes, I am perfectly okay with this.]

4: Date one another, this is something we wish we had more of… date nights, but it is super helpful to continue to date your spouse/significant other, as often as you can. This does not mean it has to be super expensive or wild night dates, they can be simple dates. A walk through the mountains, a night out for a drive which ends up by a lake or river with the two of you staring at the stars, a picnic out at your favorite park where you just happen to act like a little kid again and swing, there are many dates you can do without being too extravagant in nature, you know unless you want it to be a night of excess 😉

5: Never go to bed angry with one another, never leave the day on a bad note if you can help it.

6: Pamper one another when you get the chance, again this does not have to be one of those super expensive things, it can be as simple as taking a shower together and washing each other’s backs and or hair. You can also draw up a bath for your partner with their favorite bath soaps, bombs, candles etc, play their most relaxing playlist for them in the background and offer them so much needed downtime. Cook his or her fave meal, or even have it delivered to your house, grab your favorite pj’s you both like, and cuddle up in front of a fire, binge-watching your shows together.

7: This is something that is an every day/night thing for us. KISS and kiss often! We never go through a day without kissing one another, we even kiss each other before we fall asleep.  We used to have the saying above our bed that said: “Always, kiss me goodnight.” And here we are 10+ years later and we still kiss one another goodnight.

 

Well, I hope these tips and our little story help you to see that love can come in many forms and actions, and he/she does not have to be the picture of wealth or perfection for your relationship to succeed.

  

U.M.

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